Oh, the irony!

I didn't think this article was serious at first:

Owens, friend writing series of children's books

According to the newspaper, in "Little T Learns to Share," the title character refuses to share his football at first -- then realizes it's awfully hard to play football by yourself.

"I tried to play outside alone and throw it by myself, but football isn't football unless you play with someone else," Little T tells his mother in the book, the newspaper said.

Owens is writing a number of books with Courtney Parker as part of "T.O.'s Timeout Series." The second volume, "Little T Learns What Not to Say," is due this spring 2007; "Little T Learns To Say I'm Sorry" is expected to hit shelves next fall.

And I think my commute is bad

Police hunt train defecator

Transport police are hunting for an "exceptionally antisocial" man who has been defecating on trains across the country, causing tens of thousands of pounds-worth of damage.

The vandal, who strikes by smearing excrement inside the carriages, appears to wait until he is alone before committing the offence but investigators can discern no other pattern to his behaviour. Police say the man has soiled at least 30 trains since August, mainly in the south-east.

I would have laughed, too

German Gypsies in Legal Bid Against 'Borat'

A German group representing Roma interests said on Tuesday it had filed a suit to try to stop British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen showing his latest film in Germany.

"We are accusing him of defamation and inciting violence against Sinti and Roma (gypsies)," Marko Knudsen, head of the European Center of Antiziganism Research, told Reuters. Antiziganism refers to hostility to gypsies. ...

Knudsen's group has asked for an injunction to stop the film from being shown in Germany. "We called the distributors, but they laughed at us," he said.

Maybe burning it wasn't the brightest idea...

Taliban Fighters Hide Inside Giant Marijuana Fields

Canadian troops fighting Taliban militants in Afghanistan have stumbled across an unexpected and potent enemy -- almost impenetrable forests of 10-feet-high marijuana plants.
...
"We tried burning them with white phosphorous -- it didn't work. We tried burning them with diesel -- it didn't work. The plants are so full of water right now ... that we simply couldn't burn them," he said.

Even successful incineration had its drawbacks.

"A couple of brown plants on the edges of some of those (forests) did catch on fire. But a section of soldiers that was downwind from that had some ill effects and decided that was probably not the right course of action," Hillier said dryly.

Whoops!

Wynn accidentally damages Picasso

Pablo Picasso's "dream" painting has turned into a $139 million nightmare for Steve Wynn.
...
The accident occurred as a gesturing Wynn, who suffers from retinitis pigmentosa, an eye disease that affects peripheral vision, struck the painting with his right elbow, leaving a hole the size of a silver dollar in the left forearm of Marie-Theresa Walter, Picasso's 21-year-old mistress.

"Oh sh*t, look what I've done," Wynn said, according to Ephron, who gave her account in a blog published on Monday.

God Bless America!

Marines Pose For Beefcake Calendar
Calendar To Raise Funds For Wounded Vets

A group of Marines and ex-Marines who fought in Iraq -- including two wounded there -- is featured in a beefcake calendar being sold to help wounded veterans.
...
The "America's Heroes" calendar is being sold by Freedom is Not Free, a San Diego-based nonprofit group that helps injured service members and their families with such expenses as travel, mortgage and utility bills and special beds for burn victims.

Illustrating Absurdity

Republican uses animals, mariachi band to critique border security

In Brownsville, he witnessed half a dozen men swim under one of the international bridges “with complete immunity” which in turn prompted him to take the immigration issue to the next level.

Bhakta decided to see if he could get an elephant accompanied by a six-piece mariachi band across the river.

He said he was “staggered” by what happened on Tuesday and was planning on sharing the story with his potential constituents.

“If I can get an elephant led by a mariachi band into this country, I think Osama bin Laden could get across with all the weapons of mass destruction he could get into this country,” Bhakta said.

The mariachi band was not immediately available for comment.

Shining a light on Communism

North Korea might now have The Bomb, but it doesn't have much electricity

Mr Rumsfeld showed the picture to illustrate how backward the northern regime really is - and how oppressed its people are. Without electricity there can be none of the appliances that make life easy and that we take for granted, he said.
..
"It says it all. There's the south, the same people as the north, the same resources north and south, and the big difference is in the south it's a free political system and a free economic system.

"The people in the north are starving, their growth is stunted. It's a shame, a tragedy."

America's Next Top Model

Gaultier swaps Size O models for 'Size 20'

Fashion designer Jean Paul Gaultier found his own way to comment on the 'size zero' debate - by putting a larger model down the catwalk to show off his clothes.

Dressed in a daring black corsetry, the plus-sized model dwarfed her fellow waif-like catwalk queens.