Headlines

Karma:
Train Kills Man Trying to Kill Woman

(AP) A man trying to kill his girlfriend by stopping a car in front of an approaching train was himself killed Monday when the train hit the vehicle and launched it into him as he tried to flee, police said.

The girlfriend survived.



Funny headline:
SUV crashes into store, perhaps in attempt to steal guns
As if the SUV itself was after the guns



Breaks a promise, but tells the truth:
Boehner: Immigration Bill Is "Piece Of Shit"
House Minority Leader John Boehner, speaking to a private gathering of Republican activists last night, called the Senate's immigration compromise bill a "piece of shit" but said that he had promised President Bush earlier in the day that he would let his teeth be a barrier to such thoughts in public.

..."I promised the President today that I wouldn't say anything bad about ... this piece of shit bill," he said, according to two attendees.



Hero:
Man Put Feces in Ticket Payment, Police Say

(AP) An man who allegedly included dog feces along with his payment for a parking ticket has been charged with disorderly conduct. The 22-year-old man was charged with the misdemeanor May 11 in a criminal complaint filed in Mower County District Court.

The man's vehicle was ticketed on April 18 while it was parked in front of his residence. He put an envelope containing his payment and dog feces in a drop box at the law enforcement center, the complaint stated.