KWTF?!

K-WHAT? Unbuilt Maui TV station lands questionable call letters

THE call letters KUNT have landed at a yet-unbuilt low-power digital television station in Wailuku, Maui.
Alarmingly similar to a word the dictionary says is obscene, the call letters were among a 15-page list of new call letters issued by the Federal Communications Commission and released this week.

The same station owner also received KWTF for a station in Arizona.

From Skokie, Ill., comes a sincere apology "to anyone that was offended," said Kevin Bae, vice president of KM Communications Inc., who requested and received KUNT and KWTF. It is "extremely embarrassing for me and my company and we will file to change those call letters immediately."

...The call letter snafu was a source of great mirth for Bae's attorney.

"I can't tell you how long he laughed at me when he learned of my gaffe," Bae said.

Broadcasters for generations have joked among themselves about call letters resembling off-color words or acronyms knowing the FCC would never approve their assignment -- but that was before computerization.

KCUF-FM near Aspen, Colo. got its F-word-in-reverse call letters in August of 2005 and has been on the air since December, "Keeping Colorado Uniquely Free," its Web site says. Uh, yeah.

[Yeah, sure, "KUNT" and "KWTF" were just coincidences.]

A horse is a horse, of course, of course

Whoa, nelly!

The world's tallest horse meets the world's smallest

...At a mere 17 inches, the miniature brown mare known as Thumbelina takes pride in the lofty title of the World's Smallest Living Horse.

Her companion, Radar, is a Belgian draught horse with his own big claim to fame - as the World's Tallest Living Horse.

...At their get-together, the two didn't exactly see eye to eye.

But with 62 inches between them, there was plenty of catching up to do.

It was the first time the world's smallest and tallest horses had been photographed together.

Their portrait will be featured in the 2008 edition of the Guinness World Records book, which is published next week.

Thumbelina, who weighs 4st 9lb, was born on a farm in St Louis, Missouri.

Her owners breed miniature horses but Thumbelina is a further quirk of nature - a miniature of a miniature.

She eats two cups of grain and a handful of hay each day.

Radar, at 6ft 71/2in from hoof to shoulder, is from Mount Pleasant, Texas.

At 2,400lb, he has a giant appetite to match, putting away 20 gallons of water a day and 18lb of grain.

As if jury duty isn't bad enough already

Inmate found guilty in masturbation trial

A Broward prisoner on trial, accused of illegally masturbating in his jail cell, was found guilty of indecent exposure Tuesday.

...The case drew snickers in the courtroom Tuesday, especially during jury selection, when the jurors were quizzed about their masturbation habits.

The awkward questioning was posed by defense attorney Kathleen McHugh, who faced 17 prospective jurors and asked point-blank who among them had never masturbated.

No hands went up.

Then, she went one-by-one, asking each prospective juror if he or she had ever masturbated.

All nine men said yes, two of the 10 women said no.

...The 20-year-old was alone in his jail cell in November when a female deputy, watching him from a nearby control room, became offended when she saw him masturbating.

["Jurors, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"




Aren't the toilets in jail in plain-view, too? How can inmates NOT expose themselves, esp. when they're in jail for 10 years?!]

"Damn, that's good wine!...Can we have a group hug?"

Robber demands cash — but settles for a glass of wine and a group hug
The Associated Press
Published: July 13, 2007

A group of friends was finishing a dinner of marinated steaks and jumbo shrimp on the back patio of a Washington, D.C. home when a hooded man slid through an open gate and pointed a handgun at the head of a 14-year-old girl.

"Give me your money, or I'll start shooting," the intruder said, according to Washington, D.C., police and witnesses. Everyone froze, including the girl's parents. Then one guest spoke up.

"We were just finishing dinner," Cristina "Cha Cha" Rowan, 43, told the man. "Why don't you have a glass of wine with us?"

The intruder had a sip of their Chateau Malescot St-Exupery and said, "Damn, that's good wine."

..."I think I may have come to the wrong house," the intruder said before apologizing. "Can I get a hug?"

Rowan, who works at her children's school and lives in Falls Church, Virginia, stood up and wrapped her arms around would-be robber. The other guests followed.

"Can we have a group hug?" the man asked. The five adults complied.

The man walked away a few moments later with a filled crystal wine glass, but nothing was stolen, and no one was hurt. Police were called to the scene and found the empty wine glass unbroken on the ground in an alley behind the house.

NOOOOOO! NOT BEAR!!!

GRYLLS' THRILLS BOGUS: EXPERT
By DON KAPLAN

July 24, 2007 -- Discovery Channel he-man Bear Grylls, the host of the survival-skills show "Man vs. Wild," is barely the man he seems to be on TV.

...In the last two seasons, he and producers have contrived other scenes to make it appear as if Grylls is more skilled than he really is, a consultant for the show told The Times of London.

...Discovery Channel officials declined to comment, but in the U.K., where the show airs with the title "Born Survivor," stunned network officials at Channel 4 said they are conducting an internal investigation.

"Discovery Communications has learned that isolated elements of the 'Man vs. Wild' show in some episodes were not natural to the environment, and that for health and safety concerns the crew and host received some survival assistance while in the field," a spokeswoman for the network said.

...According to Weinert, while filming in California's Sierra Nevada mountains - an episode in which Grylls, 33, is seen biting off the head of a snake for breakfast - Grylls actually spent some nights with the show's crew in a lodge outfitted with television, stone fireplaces, hot tubs and Internet access.

...In another instance, where Grylls was supposed to be surviving on a desert island, he was actually in Hawaii and spent nights at a motel, Weinert said.

The same episode had Grylls building a Polynesian-style raft using only materials around him, including bamboo, hibiscus twine and palm leaves for a sail. Weinert said he actually led a team of builders to construct the raft.

..."I'm in luck," he told viewers, apparently coming across four wild horses grazing in a meadow. "A chance to use an old Native American mode of transport comes my way. This is one of the few places in the whole of the U.S. where horses still roam wild."

In fact, Weinert said, the horses were not wild but were brought in by trailer.

[I now no longer believe everything I see on tv!]
(Thanks to Kate for alerting me)

Backstage at the Emmy's, a Dick in a Box

Timberlakes 'Box' Up for Emmy

The past year has been very good to Justin Timberlake. The former boy band front man released two No. 1 singles, won two Grammys and starred in three films. Now his turn as host of 'Saturday Night Live' may earn him an Emmy.

On Dec. 12, 2006, 'SNL' debuted the digital short 'D**k In a Box,' starring host Timberlake and cast member Andy Samberg, a satirical goof on the slow jam R&B videos that were once so prevalent.

The video became an instant viral video hit after 'SNL' released an uncensored version on YouTube. Since then it has been viewed more than 23 million times, making it the fifth most popular video in the Web site's brief history.

When this year's Emmy nominations were announced on Thursday, 'Box,' written by Timberlake, Samberg and a number of 'SNL' writers, was named in the Original Music and Lyrics category.

[How many times did you watch the video on YouTube and think "Emmy!"?]

Guys who like to play with dolls are scary!

Japan's lonely hearts turn to dolls for sex, company

Real love is hard to find for one Japanese man, who has transferred his affection and desires to dozens of plastic sex dolls.

When the 45-year-old, who uses a pseudonym of Ta-Bo, returns home, it's not a wife or girlfriend who await him, but a row of dolls lined up neatly on his sofa.

Each has a name. Ta-Bo often watches television with his toys before bathing them, powdering them so that their skin feels more human, dressing them in lingerie and then taking them to bed.

"A human girl can cheat on you or betray you sometimes, but these dolls never do those thing. They belong to me 100 percent," says the engineer who has spent more than 2 million yen ($16,000) over the past decade on the dolls.

"Sometimes it takes too much time before I can have sex with the person I meet. But with these dolls, it's just a matter of a click of the mouse. With one click, they are delivered to you."

The man, who says he has had sex with five women but prefers the dolls, is one of a gradually increasing, though secretive, group of Japanese men who have given up on women.

..."Nowadays, women are sometimes more dominant than men in the real world, and they don't always pay attention to men," said Hideo Tsuchiya, the company's president.

"More and more men are finding themselves miserable so we're making these dolls partly in support of men."

...Ta-Bo says his parents are not aware of his companions as he has never invited them to his apartment.

He admits that carrying the dolls, changing their clothes and bathing them is almost like nursing bedridden people, but says for him and a few male friends who share his hobby, the dolls are the only emotional outlet.

"Sex with human girls was better, but I hate the process of dating," he said.

Save the planet, kill yourself

If humans were evacuated, the Earth would flourish

Environmentalists have their own eschatology—a vision of a world not consumed by holy fire but returned to ecological balance by the removal of the most disruptive species in history. That, of course, would be us, the 6 billion furiously metabolizing and reproducing human beings polluting its surface. There's even a group trying to bring it about, the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement, whose Web site calls on people to stop having children altogether.

... Since we're headed inexorably toward an environmental crash anyway, why not get it over cleanly and allow the world to heal? Over time, though, Weisman's attitude toward the rest of humanity softened, as he thought of some of the beautiful things human beings have accomplished, their architecture and poetry, and he eventually arrived at what he views as a compromise position: a worldwide, voluntary agreement to limit each human couple to one child.

Something weird is going on in Mongolia

Worlds apart: The moment the tallest man met the shortest

In terms of height they are worlds apart.

The world's tallest man, Bao Xishun today shook hands with He Pingping who claims to be Earth's shortest.

But these two men actually hail from the same region of Inner Mongolia.

While Mr Xishun, 56, towers above everyone at an astonishing 7.9ft, 19-year-old Mr Pingping is a mere 2.4ft high.

They like to start 'em early

Metro parents upset over 'Viagra Bear'
The Red Robin restaurant chain is taking action after a Twin Cities family won a bear with an ad for Viagra at one of its restaurants.

Joe Kelner, 11, won a bear while playing the claw machine at the Red Robin in Shoreview.

Joe's parents thought it was inappropriate and complained to restaurant employees.

"It's important for parents to know that there are maybe inappropriate toys in these vending machines that you think are safe," Lori Kelner said.

Red Robin says the bears were supplied by a local vendor from New York as part of a Nascar package promoting its sponsors. The company said they are removing the bears from all its restaurants.

Somebody's going to be waking up with a headache tomorrow

Man survives pickup rolling over his head

BARNSTABLE — A 43-year-old man was taken to a Boston hospital by ambulance yesterday after a pickup truck he was working on ran over his head, fire officials said.

At about 11:30 a.m., the Barnstable Fire Department received a report of a motor vehicle accident. But it turned out the owner of a landscaping company was working beneath a three-quarter ton pickup truck trying to fix it when the vehicle suddenly rolled. A wheel went over his head and shoulder, Barnstable Fire Lt. Ed Guilford said. "But he's in great shape," Guilford said.

When the rescue squad arrived to the Millway address, they found the man smoking a cigarette with his crew. He had a tire track across his head, significant "road rash" and a missing patch of hair to prove he had been under the wheel.

Tests done at Cape Cod Hospital revealed no internal injuries. He was taken to Boston for some plastic surgery on his ear, Guilford said.

[So I guess this means the scene from the last episode of the Sopranos wasn't quite accurate. A head can remain intact with a car running over it at a slow speed]

Awwwwwwwww!!!

Will you love me fur ever?

This chihuahua puppy literally wears its heart on its sleeve.

The cute male pooch, born with a perfect heart-shaped patch on its side, has been suitably named Heartkun by its owner in northern Japan.

The one-and-a-half-month-old pup was born as one of a big litter, but is the only new arrival to sport such a heart-warming coat.

According to owner Emiko Sakurada, this is the first occasion a puppy with such marks had been born out of the more than one thousand chihuahuas she has bred.

Penis Posts?

Concrete posts in Keizer raise controversy

KEIZER, Ore. - The City of Keizer is taking heat for installing a group of cement posts designed to protect pedestrians from cars, but which some say is a phallic symbol.

A total of 52 of the posts were installed at a busy intersection in Keizer and they are getting a lot of second glances.

A number of residents have complained to the city that the posts resemble male genitalia.

I can't disagree with that," said City Manager Chris Eppley. "They certainly did not turn out the way we anticipated."

According to Eppley, the posts were ordered from a catalog and looked much different on paper.

"They're a standard style," Eppley said. "I think in the right context they look fine. They just happened not to (look fine) here."

The city is looking into retrofitting the posts with metal collars and chains that run between them, which they hope will change the look. If not, they said the posts will have to go.

"If that fix doesn't work and I still think they look inappropriate, we'll have wasted $20,000 and we'll have to do something different," Eppley said.

[This is ridiculous! I have seen plenty of posts that look just like this and I have never given it a second thought - these people are overly sensitive - this is not worth wasting money over!]

Ignorant, ay?

Half of Canadians too ignorant to be Canadian [HIlarious headline]

Two days before Canadians celebrate their nation, a survey published Friday found that more than half of them would not be granted citizenship on the basis of their knowledge of their own country.

According to the Ipsos Reid poll, 60 percent of Canadians would fail the citizenship exam, a necessary step for immigrants to be granted citizenship.

However, an "outstanding majority" or 70 percent of newcomers scored a passing grade when administered the same quiz.

The results are "frankly disheartening," said Rudyard Griffiths of the Dominion Institute.

...In 1997, only 45 percent of respondents failed an identical test, indicating that Canadians' knowledge of themselves also appears to be sliding, Griffiths lamented.

To pass the test participants had to correctly answer 12 of 21 questions on Canadian history, politics, culture and geography.