It's about a post by a feminist state leader who's proud of her 15 year old daughter getting an abortion. She thinks she has well-equipped her daughter with sex-ed and contraception, and yet somehow this still happened. I guess because there wasn't enough public school sex ed for the boy.
At one point the mother wrote, "The truth is my daughter was using condoms. Guess what sometimes they fail. Especially, when children who aren’t educated in their use like my child is are the ones placing them on their penis." But earlier in her screed, she had said, "As we sat down all she kept saying was 'I don’t know how this happened' over and over. The truth was in that moment she couldn’t remember having sex the one time with the young man she was seeing."
So, which is it? The girl couldn't remember and didn't understand or she was using condoms that, guess what, fail?
Kristen Hatten makes excellent points about how teaching about contraception, or even how to use them, still doesn't teach emotionally immature hormonal children to actually follow through to use them.
She says it was "likely there was no condom":
How can I say such a thing? Well, because every day across the world about a million girls agree to have sex without a condom because the boy doesn’t want to wear one and the girl wants the boy to like her. (Cue that song from Beauty and the Beast that goes, “Tale as old as time…”)I'd never really thought about it before, but it stands to reason that at least half the time the excuse is "the condom broke," the truth is there was no condom at all. Especially with girls who should "know better," as this mother said of her daughter, and feel they need to justify their abortions.
Inevitably, some of those girls get pregnant. And when their feminist mothers – who made sure they got lots of sex ed and access to birth control - ask, “How on earth did this happen?,” they can’t say, “Well, Mom, you taught me everything about sex except how to handle it like an adult woman because I’m not an adult woman.”
Instead they say, “The condom broke.”
You can give kids all the facts and access to condoms and other contraceptives that you want, but they're still KIDS. They aren't mature enough to deal with the realities and emotional aspects of sex and relationships - heck, many women of all ages don't seem to be. Just giving them information without guidance, which liberals often call "judgment," isn't nearly enough.
Nowhere is that made more clear than what the daughter says in the end:
Do I regret it? No! Because I know that the spirit I named Mariah will go on to a woman who is ready for her.Her immaturity and child's ignorance ring so clear. Someday she will realize that her BABY (spirit???) Mariah was a unique human being who had only one shot at life in this world and it was HER choice to kill her. I do not begrudge her the pain and heartache when she comes to this realization as she grows and matures and begins to understand her decision as an adult.
When this happens, I hope she gets the healing she needs, instead of burying it and denying it like so many post-abortive women try to do.
If you or someone you know is hurting from abortion, there are many great sources of support available. Please check out Abortion Recovery, Project Rachel, National Helpline for Abortion Recovery, and Rachel’s Vineyard.
3 comments:
You know, there are thousands of women out there who don't regret getting an abortion at all. Why are you ignoring them and pretending they don't exist? Also, do you know what one of the main factors is in whether or not a woman regrets getting an abortion? Whether or not the people around her are supportive of her decision. So why not be supportive of a woman's choice to get an abortion, so that she doesn't end up feeling bad about what she did?
Also, can you prove that the daughter wasn't right when she said that "the spirit I named Mariah will go on to a woman who is ready for her"? Can you prove that "Mariah was a unique human being who had only one shot at life in this world"? Or will you admit that it's entirely likely that the spirits of aborted fetuses do end up going on to women who are ready for children? Seriously, stop being so judgmental and learn to accept that your opinions could be wrong.
You keep saying how KIDS aren't prepared for this. By definition, if she is able to get pregnant, she's NOT A KID! She apparently was unprepared, as you say. But that's the fault of people like you who still think that someone who is able to breed isn't an adult (in this case, particularly her parents). That makes you and them part of the problem (although probably not deliberately).
It's long past time we return to the idea that young adults are still ADULTS, and we need to prepare them for the responsibilities of adulthood. As a society, we've somehow stupidly come to the conclusion that children aren't adults until they are 18. It wasn't all that long ago that a 15 year old woman would have been married a year and likely pregnant with her husband's first child. We can argue over whether young women are better off now or were better off then, but at least back then the fact that she was an adult would have been obvious to all.
Until we're willing to return to the idea that you're an adult once you can breed, and actually prepare kids for it, rather than just try to hand wave the problem away by talking about how "kids aren't ready for this", we'll fail at preventing unwanted pregnancies like this one. They are NOT kids. Their bodies are screaming at them to breed. They want to do it, and they're going to do it. We need to teach them what the ramifications are and most importantly, how to reliably prevent unwanted ramifications from occurring. Obviously, the 15 year old's mother in this story failed miserably at this.
For instance, why did anybody involved think that a condom was intended to prevent pregnancy? Every condom package I've ever seen clearly states it's intended to help prevent the spread of disease, and is not intended to prevent conception. Why was the 15 year old misinformed? Why didn't her MOTHER make sure she was properly prepared to prevent pregnancy?
And instead of railing against the choice this 15 year old made, and rant about how she'll eventually regret it, do something USEFUL like encourage people to properly prepare their kids for what their body's will go through once they are through puberty (that's about 13 for females and 15 for males). Get involved in the local education system, and encourage them to make sure that the facts are presented accurately to students. And above all make sure your own kids understand what will happen to them during and after puberty, and how to prevent the unwanted consequences of their actions.
Some girls go through puberty at age 8 or 9. Do you really think those girls are adults simply because their bodies are changing? Or will you admit that starting puberty has no bearing on whether or not a person is an adult?
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